آخر الف من الراتب

أيوب الحسن

بعدما بقي صامدا في محفظة الجيب لأكثر من 45 يوما، حان وقت رحيل آخر ألف من الراتب الى مثواه الأخير.

قبل وداعه ، جلست مع نفسي متحدثاً ” ترى هل أخرج صباحاً لشراء سيارة واعلن تخلصي من تزاحم الناس في وسائط النقل المعتادة، وما تحمله اليوم من تقارب اجتماعي في ظل أزمةٍ يلاحقنا فيها العم “كورونا”، متنقلاً من خانه الى أخرى داخل (الكيات والكوسترات)، التي لطالما اعتاد ركابها الحديث في كل شيء حتى وان لم يكن هناك شيء.

تراجعت قليلاً عن فكرة شراء سيارة لأننا في بلد اصبح فيه عدد السيارات اكثر من ارقام الأموال التي صُرفت على الكهرباء منذ عام 2003 وحتى اليوم، المهم .. لا تشغلوا بالكم في حساب الأرقام (الفلوس وصخ دنيا).

توجهت مسرعاً بتفكيري وقررت شراء (قطعة ذهب) لزوجتي وذلك لقرب ذكرى يوم ميلادها، مع أني لم اترك لها سوى قطعة واحدة من الذهب من بين كمية من المثاقيل تباهت بها يوم زواجها فقط، ثم غادرت تلك المثاقيل من المنزل بكل شرف بعد أسابيع واشهر لتقف موقفها البطولي لإسناد (الراتب المبجل) الذي لم يكلف نفسه يوماً لسد متطلبات الحياة الثلاثة المقدسة (الايجار – المولدة – الانترنيت) فكيف هو الحال ببقية المتطلبات اليومية؟ لكن فكرتي بشراء الذهب اصطدمت هذه المرة بموجة ارتفاع أسعاره التي تجاوزت (300) الف دينار للمثقال الواحد بسبب الازمة الاقتصادية التي ضربت البلاد.

لا زالت الحيرة تلازمني ولا زلت لا اعرف الى أين اذهب بتلك (الألف دينار) التي احملها في يدي واحمل معها احلاماً كثيرة لصرفها، بعدما اجتازت بجدارة كل قواعد الاقتصاد والتدبير المنزلي العراقي، واستطاعت التخفي بين جيوب الملابس وتنقلت متسلله من محفظتي الى خلفية غلاف الموبايل، حتى استطاعت عبور الشهر دون ان تطالها يد (الصرف المنزلي) التي لا تعرف التفاهم مع الراتب وما حوله من أموال المنزل.

الراتب تلك المعجزة التي أصبحت يُنادى عليها بنداء عاجل في القنوات الفضائية ووسائل التواصل الاجتماعي، ثم يعقب هذا النداء مرحلة الشائعات (نزل؟ لا ما نزل) ثم تتلوها مرحلة الترقب (كمراقبة هلال العيد) امام مكاتب (كي كارد) بطوابير طويلة يتنوع فيها الطيف العراقي بين (موظف ومتقاعد مدني وعسكري)، كلاً يقف في مكانٍ واحد كأنه يوم الحساب.

نعم يوم توزيع الرواتب هو يوم الحساب، بعد انتظار طويل لحفنة من الأوراق، سرعان ما تتطاير كسرب من الطيور يعرف مكان هجرته (من اين هو قادم والى اين هو ذاهب) ، فجزء من السرب يتطاير بين الأسواق لشراء المواد الغذائية وذلك بعد ان غابت مواد البطاقة التموينية في غياهب السياسة المنسية.

وأخر يتطاير ليذهب الى مشغل المولدة الذي ارتبطت أسعار امبيراته ببورصة (ناسداك) العالمية في الصعود والنزول مع ازمة كورونا، وما تبقى من أوراق العملة المقدسة يتطاير لكارتات شحن الموبايل والتي تتبخر هي الأخرى مع قوة شبكات تتصل من خلالها لتقول (عشر مرات الو) وفي الأخيرة ترد عليك والدتك (ما سمعتك يمه).

وفي خضم هذا التطاير السريع لدخلك المحدود، في بلدك الذي لم تعد تُحترم له حدود (تركيا وايران وكويت وشسولفلك بعد)، وكورونا التي تقف امامك من كل جانب لتقول لك (طريقك مسدود مسدود) ، يأتي بطل المسلسل (الألف الأخير) ليجعلك في حيرة من امرك مع ختام شهرك الذي اصبح رسمياً 45 يوماً بدلاً من 30 يوماً في عصر ما قبل كورونا .. فأين تصرفه؟ ولأجل من تدخره؟ أو ربما تشتري به ربع كيلو حب شمس) تتسلى به مع عائلتك وانت تتابع اخبار هذا البلد الذي لا نعلم حاله الى أين سيتجه.

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