ما معنى رئيس !!

منذ أن كنت طفلاً صغيراً وأنا أخاف من كلمة رئيس. تصبغني صفرة ليمونية عندما أسمع الكلمة. وتتهيأ حواسي لحدوث كارثة في أي وقت. دربوني في مرحلة الروضة على أن صدام حسين هو عمو صدام. وهو الذي يجلب لنا الألعاب، وبسببه تمطر السماء وبابا يظل على قيد الحياة. وفي مرحلة الابتدائية أيام حرب العراق وإيران، قبضت أسماعي مرات عدة على حوارات يجريها البالغون، كانوا يقولون فيها أن عمو صدام يقتل أي واحد يشاء وفي أي وقت يريد، لأنه السيد الرئيس حفظه الله ورعاه. وعندما سالت معلم التاريخ الذي أحبه عن حقيقة ذلك، صفعني على وجهي، وقال بأنني أحتاج الى تربية وإعادة تأهيل. ثم أتصل بأبي، وعندما جاء صفعني هو ايضاً أمام معلمي والمدير، وفي البيت صفعتني أمي أمام إخوتي. وأخوتي تراصفوا يصفعونني دون ان أفهم السبب.
كبرنا أنا والرئيس، صرت في مرحلة الإعدادية، وهو المهيب الركن القائد الأعلى للقوات المسلحة ورئيس الوزراء والجمهورية، واخذ أبي من بيتنا ذات يوم ولم يرجعه أبداً، ثم صادر أملاكنا المنقولة وغير المنقولة بتهمة خيانة أبي للوطن. بعدها بأشهر أصدر قراراً بإعادة أملاكنا المنقولة وغير المنقولة، ومنحنا لقب عائلة شهيد الغضب.
ثم أدخل الوطن كله الى الكويت، وخرج منه بنصف وطن، واضطررنا بسبب الحصار الدولي، الى بيع جميع الأموال المنقولة وغير المنقولة التي أعادها ألينا من أجل الحصول على لقمة العيش. ثم قرر الرئيس بأن أصبح جندياً، وبعد أن أكملت خدمتي الإلزامية، قرر أن التحق بخدمة الاحتياط. وبعد أن أكملت احتياطي قرر أن التحق بخدمة جيش تحرير القدس. وبعد أن أكملت خدمتي دون تحرير القدس، قرر أن أصبح فدائياً له وقبل أن أفديه بشيء أخذه الأمريكيون من حفرة، ثم جاء رئيس جديد أسمه نوري المالكي أعدم الرئيس القديم وجلس على كرسيه.
تزامن مع مجيء الرئيس الجديد، أبني الجديد. كبرا سويةً. الرئيس الجديد صار رئيساً للوزراء وقائداً أعلى للقوات المسلحة ووزيراً للدفاع ووزيراً للداخلية، ورئيساً للمخابرات والأمن القومي. وأبني صار بالروضة. وكل يوم يعود منها والخوف بعينيه، بسبب تفجيرات سمعها أو أصوات أطلاقات نارية أو جثثاً رآها على الأرصفة. قال لي ذات يوم بانه سمع بالغين يقولون أن ذلك بسبب الرئيس. وسألني وهو يطقطق جفنيه” ما معنى رئيس “. حاولت على مدى أيام أن اشرح له ملابسات الأمر، لكنني ذات نهار كنت في الزمان والمكان الخاطئين حيث وقع تفجير أستهدف دوريةً للجيش. فاعتقدت قوات الرئيس بأنني إرهابي. أخذوني مقيد اليدين ومعصوب العينين الى المعتقل وبقيت تحت رحمة الصفعات والركلات سنتين. وعندما خرجت حكى لي ابني أن الرئيس زار مدرسته وربت على رأسه وترحم على الوالد الذي أنجبه وبعد طبع قبلة على جبهته، منحه حقيبة مليئة بالأقلام. ففرحنا أنا وأبني، وزادت فرحتنا عندما سمعنا المذيع يحكي بلسان الرئيس أنه سيمنحنا قطعة أرض والكثير من المال لنبني سقفاً ينقذنا من السكن بالإيجار. وقبل أن تتفستق أحلامنا، ويفهم أبني ما معنى الرئيس، تظاهر الناس محتجين على سياسات الرئيس وطلبوا سحب الكرسي من تحته، وإيكال أمر البلاد الى رئيس جديد. غضب الرئيس ونقل غضبه الى قواته في الشوار، فصاروا يعتقلون ويقتلون لكي يرضى عنهم الرئيس. وبعد شهور أختبر ملثمون حظهم باحتلال المدينة،ونجحوا قبل ان يطلقوا رصاصة واحدة، لأن قوات الرئيس القت اسلحتها وهاجرت صوب الى الشمال بأوامر مباشرة من الرئيس. الملثمون كنسوا من الطرقات عهد الرئيس القديم. وجاءوا برئيس جديد، قالوا بأنه الخليفة أبو بكر، أمير المؤمنين، والأوامر تنزل إليه من السماء. أبني صار وقتها رجلاً ويعرف الأشياء، فعندما مررنا برجل يجلده ملتحيان باسم الخليفة أمير المؤمنين، قال لي وهو يتشبث بذراعي ” أصبحت الآن أعرف ماذا يعني رئيس ! “.
___________
نشر في مجلة مراسلون بلا حدود الصادرة في برلين 2015

مقالات ذات صلة

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